in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
