alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
