Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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