I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
