so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
