I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
