first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
