but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
