Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize