I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
