Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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