So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
