what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
