hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
