also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
