I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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