I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
