awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
