yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
