i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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