I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Well I just put wine in my tea
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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