Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong

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(248): the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong http://tfl.nu/52o9

Replies (2) Good night (894) Bad night (517)
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(951): View more from California

Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.

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(951): Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already. http://tfl.nu/bhvw

Replies (64) Good night (5018) Bad night (964)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.

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(615): I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him. http://tfl.nu/4ib9

Replies (30) Good night (703) Bad night (2980)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?

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(218): Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew? http://tfl.nu/rj2z

Replies (22) Good night (2793) Bad night (700)
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(+91): View more from India

Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.

(+91): View more from India

what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?

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(+91): Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step. (+91): what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her? http://tfl.nu/u7i2

Replies (11) Good night (700) Bad night (2229)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.

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(978): watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night. http://tfl.nu/ve5u

Replies (20) Good night (1263) Bad night (4251)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?

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(508): Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"? http://tfl.nu/9ial

Replies (29) Good night (1028) Bad night (2941)
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(909): View more from California

According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack

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(909): According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack http://tfl.nu/ipzj

Replies (15) Good night (3660) Bad night (1463)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.

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(616): Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed. http://tfl.nu/ew4t

Replies (17) Good night (956) Bad night (4082)
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(515): View more from Iowa

You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included

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(515): You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included http://tfl.nu/xxv8

Replies (4) Good night (4279) Bad night (784)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.

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(612): she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different. http://tfl.nu/v2bl

Replies (2) Good night (1022) Bad night (432)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now

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(612): New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now http://tfl.nu/fnbr

Replies (11) Good night (2018) Bad night (591)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us

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(508): I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us http://tfl.nu/g48g

Replies (6) Good night (1075) Bad night (349)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.

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(330): I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it. http://tfl.nu/otfu

Replies (2) Good night (747) Bad night (705)
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(917): View more from New York City

I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina

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(917): I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina http://tfl.nu/n2kg

Replies (3) Good night (1005) Bad night (558)

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