Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
