Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.

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(610): My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing. http://tfl.nu/h8rn

Replies (49) Good night (1094) Bad night (5466)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name

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(610): It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name http://tfl.nu/7lfm

Replies (13) Good night (4724) Bad night (1015)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.

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(405): defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far. http://tfl.nu/t2l0

Replies (24) Good night (4314) Bad night (1395)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.

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(870): you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions. http://tfl.nu/7qp6

Replies (29) Good night (8277) Bad night (717)
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(214): View more from Texas

So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.

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(214): So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5. http://tfl.nu/y0zl

Replies (9) Good night (5268) Bad night (801)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes

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(301): Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes http://tfl.nu/frgb

Replies (9) Good night (4006) Bad night (981)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described

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(405): Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described http://tfl.nu/ywvl

Replies (7) Good night (1722) Bad night (850)
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(269): View more from Michigan

No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.

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(269): No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success. http://tfl.nu/5coq

Replies (5) Good night (1552) Bad night (778)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there

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(570): I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there http://tfl.nu/1aoc

Replies (5) Good night (2066) Bad night (557)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.

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(503): Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow. http://tfl.nu/26gh

Replies (10) Good night (1664) Bad night (598)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.

(216): View more from Ohio

this is the second day in a row.

(330): View more from Ohio

Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.

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(330): I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza. (216): this is the second day in a row. (330): Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then. http://tfl.nu/tsfk

Replies (6) Good night (2052) Bad night (747)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.

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(205): I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment. http://tfl.nu/97ug

Replies (4) Good night (1766) Bad night (472)
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(940): View more from Texas

You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.

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(940): You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins. http://tfl.nu/4yq8

Replies (3) Good night (1661) Bad night (397)
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(360): View more from Washington

You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.

(1-360): View more from Washington

I'm puking in a turkey pan....

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(360): You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal. (1-360): I'm puking in a turkey pan.... http://tfl.nu/y4jv

Replies (6) Good night (1094) Bad night (395)
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(+64): View more from New Zealand

the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life

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(+64): the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life http://tfl.nu/95hw

Replies (2) Good night (949) Bad night (188)

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