So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.