i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I will be naked everywhere
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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