Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
