awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
