apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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