Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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