I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
