You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
BRING THE BAGELS
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
