Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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