anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize