MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Randomize
