you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
