My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
