nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
you would pick up someone in the library
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize