The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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