is your mom at the bar?
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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