i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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