Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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