Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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