Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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