He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
my liver is dry heaving
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
