Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
