Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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