I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm both gender and math confused
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
