Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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