Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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