Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
