saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize