Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
