Moan for me like Helen Keller
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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