Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
