I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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