i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize