I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
