I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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