Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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