Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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