What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
