I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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